


Forget Hanbin

by orphan_account



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:24:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> Italics are flashbacks </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Hanbin

It had been eleven hours since they had started learning the new routine. Usually they weren't allowed a break on the first two days; however Junhoe's stomach was growling so loudly that even B.I couldn't focus. But five hours later and that break was long gone. Each member was getting tired and frustrated from the countless run-throughs and it was beginning to show. 

"Stop! Stop! Start over again," The leader yelled over the track playing and ran to the computer, cutting it off. The groans echoed off the walls as each member sat down. Hanbin could tell that the team was exhausted; so was he. No one had gotten more than four hours of sleep the previous night, and as he looked around, it was obvious. 

"All right, fine. Five minutes. Then we work until we have it perfect!" The last half of his sentence was drowned out by the cheers of his teammates, but he didn't mind. He was already sitting on the floor, leaning against the cool mirrored wall.

After what seemed like seconds, his phone went off, signaling that their five minutes were already up. As he stood, he tried to recollect his thoughts and focus on his team to quickly get this day over with. He knew that he sometimes let his anger get the best of him and he would take it out on everyone else, so he was trying to better himself for the good of the team. Each member almost always put their all into every practice, but with the stress of being leader and possibility of the group getting split apart hanging on his shoulders, he couldn't help but snap at someone when everything became too much. It wasn't their fault, it was his, and that's what was happening with Jinhwan and him.

Jinhwan was pushing himself as hard as he could, too hard even. He was on the verge of passing out, having stayed up after most of the others to work on the new dance more. He didn't know why, probably the lack of sleep, but he couldn't land this one move. That wasn't the worst part though; no. The fact that every time it happened, Hanbin saw him make the mistake killed him. Each time their eyes met after would bring up the memories of late night practices and kisses, words of encouragement and advice. His chest would tighten and eventually he'd have to break the staring contest between them in order to keep the nightmare that was their breakup out of his mind. 

_"Binnie," he said softly, looking at his boyfriend to gauge his reaction. "Could we tell the other members, please?"_

_He watched as Hanbin's eyes widened, looking at him as if he had multiple heads or a third eye. "No! We've already been through this, Jinhwan!"_

_"Hanbin, I know you don't feel like anyone will accept you or our relationship, but the guys, they won't care. They care about who we are, not who we're attracted to!" Jinhwan was determined to win the argument this time. He was tired of having to hide his feelings for the younger._

_"Jinhwan, I said no. Just drop it already? Isn't this enough?" Hanbin challenged. He always pulled that card, trying to make his hyung feel guilty._

_"Don't you even dare insinuate that you aren't enough, Kim Hanbin! You mean so much to me, but I can't keep living while having to hide my love for the most important person in my life. I won't do it," Jinhwan stated. He was done. He loved Hanbin, but if it meant hiding in the closet for the rest of his life, he wouldn't do it any longer._

_Jinhwan watched as his once-lover was quiet for the first time. He just stood there, shaking his head back and forth. "Fine. I don't want to be with some clingy fag like you anyway."_

_And just like that, Jinhwan's heart, Jinhwan's soul crumbled into fragments of what used to be._

Obviously things would never be the same, but the eldest had no idea that it would change so drastically. What used to be gentle suggestions and criticism were now harsh, cruel words and shouts of judgement. Jinhwan understood though; Hanbin needed someone to blame things on and was not willing to accept his sexuality; therefore the blame landed on the center of his affection at fault. So when Donghyuk innocently asked their leader why they had stopped at the same part of the song for the tenth time in a row, he should have been prepared for the malice directed at him. 

"It's because one of us can't land on their left foot correctly," Hanbin had said, his gaze clearly landing on Jinhwan. When he wouldn't look away, everyone else turned to find the person accused. All Jinhwan wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die. His face heated up in shame and suddenly the flooring became the most interesting thing his eyes had ever seen. He was about to ask to go use the restroom to avoid further embarrassment and awkwardness when he felt a pair of arms gently wrap around his waist.

"It's okay, baby. You'll land it next time; I'm sure of it." Bobby gently said to him. A small smile reached Jinhwan's lips as he relaxed into his dongsaeng's touch and nodded.

"What do you mean 'It's okay'? It's not okay! He keeps messing up and we don't have time for mistakes. We have to be putting our best into this if we want to debut in June and I wont allow him to ruin it for the rest of us!" Hanbin exploded.

Not that Hanbin would ever admit it to anyone, not even himself, but Jinhwan knew that this was brought on by Bobby's open affection. If there was one thing Jinhwan loved about being with Bobby more than Hanbin was that he could be open in his relationship. There was no more hiding. 

_"You have roughly thirty minutes, but then please return back here for the next flight," Their manager had told them once they reached the lobby with their things. Smiles were worn on everyone's faces as they realized that they had a small bit of free time to relax outside of a plane in between the long treks. The members started scoping out the unfamiliar building and decided upon a small airport cafe. As they entered, they were greeted with the smell of cookies and a menu of more refreshments than they knew existed. Eyes lit up as they all found something they wanted. After ordering, they each sat down at the couples seating, two per table. Hanbin made eye contact with Jinhwan and he almost gave in. Thankfully, Bobby took his hand and led him to the table at the very end. Even as they took a chair, their fingers never broke away from one anothers. To Jinhwan, it meant that his boyfriend was proud of being in a relationship and comfortable with himself enough to be open about their love. He took a sip from his drink and looked up, feeling a squeeze on his hand. The sight in front of him made his heart swell. There he was, sitting across from his boyfriend, his absolutely amazing boyfriend who was looking at him like he was his whole world._

_"Do you want to listen to some music, hyung?" Bobby asked, holding up an earbud. They both shared blank faces for a second or two before giggling at the formality.  
Jinhwan nodded and leaned forward, taking it and putting it in his ear. He waited a few seconds before he voiced his confusion. "There's no music."_

_Bobby laughed, his eyes crinkling cutely as he gave his signature bunny smile. He raised his hand, cupping Jinhwan's cheek. He brushed the small mole under his lover's right eye with his thumb before leaning in closer, leaving only an inch or two between them. "I know, Jinnie. I just wanted to get close to you."_

_A blush crept up on the eldest's face. "Yah, you're so-" His sentence was cut off by lips meeting his own, and although it was only for a brief moment, the kiss was soft and full of emotion._

_"I love you, Jinnie."_

_"I love you too, Jiwon."_

The room became quiet and eyes were switching back and forth between their leader and their eldest hyung, waiting to see what would be said. Anyone could have felt the tension that had been rising between the two over the past two months; hell, it was practically visible. Bobby's arms tightened around Jinhwan as if that would prevent him from hearing Hanbin's words.

Jinhwan glared at his ex-lover, knowing that he was constantly putting his best efforts into the preparation for debuting; no one could dispute that. He felt the same responsibility as the leader, being the oldest member. 

"That's not true, and we all know it. Just because I can't get one move out of the whole routine right doesn't mean that I'm not trying hard enough, B.I." He let his frustration fuel his courage and stand up for himself, making a point to use the name he knew Hanbin hated.

If they thought their leader was angry before, then he was infuriated now. His glare at Jinhwan seemed to burn him. Jinhwan's confidence was slowly decreasing and he felt himself struggling to not lower his head and show defeat. 

"Yeah well maybe if you weren't so busy with Bobby's dick in your ass like a fucking fag, you would be able to learn your routines correctly and not drag the team down like last time."

Someone gasped, but Jinhwan didn't know who. He didn't know anything but pain. His chest hurt; he couldn't breathe. He was trembling and all he could think was 'Get out of here. Don't let him see you cry.' With those thoughts in mind, everyone watched as he ran out of the room. 

He heard someone call after him, but he didn't care. He just kept running until he reached their dorms and locked himself in his room. Jinhwan tried to even his breathing out, but it just kept catching in his throat and coming out shakily. 

"Jinhwan... Jinnie, baby, please open the door. It's just me." He heard Bobby's voice call from outside, and got up, unlocking the door and letting him in. 

"I-I'm sorry I ran out. I just couldn't be in there with him anymore." Jinhwan tried to explain as he sat down on the bottom bunk, justifying it more for himself than his boyfriend.

He kept his gaze down, sniffling while he played idly with his fingers as a distraction, but heard as Bobby walked to him, sitting beside him on the bed.

"Baby, you don't have to have a reason. I understand. I'm here for you; I will always be here. I'm sorry he said that shit to you," Jiwon said softly, wrapping an arm around his lover. Noticing that his words weren't really eliciting a response, he continued. "I punched him in the face before I went after you."

Jinhwan's eyes widened and he hit Bobby on the chest. "You hit him?! Jiwon you shouldn't have done that! You're going to get in trouble because of me."

His boyfriend chuckled lightly, kissing his forehead. "I'm kidding, Jinnie, but God I wanted to. Please put him out of your mind and just focus on me, okay? He's not here, and I will always protect you. He won't get to hurt you again, I promise." 

Jinhwan nodded and followed Bobby as he leaned down on the bed before laying his head against his chest. This is when he felt safest: in Kim Jiwon's arms. 

_They all gathered into the same room for their last night together, wanting to make it special. As they all filed in, Jinhwan looked around, trying to find a place to sit. Hanbin was boring holes into him with his stare, but he wouldn't look at him; he couldn't._

_”Jinhwan, come here. Sleep with me,” The older rapper called to him, making room on the bed. Jinhwan smiled and laid next to his boyfriend, letting him wrap his arms around him. The eldest could still feel Hanbin’s stare, but it didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that the team was together for the last time and that he was being held by the man of his dreams._


End file.
